"Isn't there that one guy you'd imagine you'd get married to, someday?" I asked Lucille this evening. She was quiet for a time, and I went on. "You'd wake up, see his face,eat breakfast together, kiss each other good morning... you know, those cute things "She said it simply sent shivers along her spine to even imagine. Oh, I can see through her staunch denial and pretense just by seeing her smile. I, on the other hand, didn't try to restrain myself much and eventually, his name rolled off my tongue. Perhaps, I even just brought the question up as a covert excuse to say his name.
Let me get these things off my chest once and for all. I'm not looking for someone who could like me for physical appearance's sake. I actually want someone to appreciate my kind of humor, I want him to enjoy talking with me, and definitely not because I worked hard to come up with interesting topics to fill our conversation. It's not like I'm running a talk show/gossip news central! If he wanted that, well, there's TV, and it's even 24/7. :) It's just that I'd just want him to listen to me when I'm incredibly happy, troubled or sad, and simply when I talk about how my day went. I'm not gonna ask him to listen to my incessant monologue, really. It's just that I've always thought that it would be quite special to have this one person among the millions in the world that you could open up to at the end of each day. And he'd open up to me and I'd listen to what he's saying even when he's talking about his boss and his job and I don't quite know all the terms he'll be spouting. I do know that I want to be there for him, even when at times, all it takes to do that is just to be someone who will listen to his side of the story. I tell you, any two people who have that connection is truly blessed--it's a wonderful thing to have. It's certainly a dream of mine to finally find that. It may be rather dull to some, but the best things in life that people sometimes forget to treasure are those simple, and unfortunately, often-overlooked pleasures. The chance to be there for someone and he'll be there for you--I dream of that.
What I'm really saying is, I want him to love me for who I am, just as I accept him for who he is. I know that there are better women than I am, but oh, it would feel wonderful if despite those other choices, every day and every chance he gets, he chooses me over and over again--to be with, to laugh with,to cry with, to grow old with. That was quite simply stated, but it would feel like a fairy tale to be with a guy like that, and to be the girl he loves.
He's the one who isn't just a great boyfriend. He is first and foremost, a great friend.
You could talk for hours.
But even when it's quiet, you don't feel restless with the silence. Words don't need to fill the void when simply sitting quietly on the park bench with him already makes you feel content.
When you're sad, he worries about how to make you feel better, even when he wasn't the cause of the trouble.
He paints the smile back on your face. And it's definitely not fake! :)
And when you see something that is just to great to keep yourself, he's the one you wish to share the moment with.
Because, the truth is, you're in the relationship not just to make you happy...you want to make him happy.
You want to be his dream come true, and if you're ever gonna get a "happy ever after"in this life, it's not gonna be quite as happy if you're not together.
And oh, darn, I want that kind of love. Don't get me wrong. I'm not just talking about romance. I want that sort of love that comforts you at the end of a horrible day at work, and maybe even losing your job... That love that becomes your saving grace. It's the kind that's built on real moments--being there for each other even when it's not all about raging passion, hormones and teenage excitement.
That's exactly the kind I want to have, because love is not always about watching a fireworks display. Sometimes, it'll just be deciding who's gonna change the busted light bulb. Besides, between you and me, I'm getting a little bit tired of fireworks. They captivate your eye for a moment, light up your sky for a minute, and leave you with a suffocating toxic cloud. Play with the firework and it'll hurt you. Maybe the only kind-of-permanent things you'll get will be a few photographs and the memory of a sting.
So do I want a love like a firework? Exciting, and bright? Yeah-- I used to, but by stating the previous paragraph, I would like to think that I learned my lesson. After all, this is real life. And although I love reading about tempestuous, dramatic short stories filled with so much passion, I want my own love story to be a long novel, even when the plot is far from perfect and even if the guy's no Edward Cullen. Besides, I don't need a guy who's waaaaaaay too white and I definitely don't need him to sparkle ;)
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