Picture Perfect? Guess Again

"Picture perfect memories scattered all on the floor. I reach for the phone 'cause I can't take it anymore. And I wonder if I ever cross your mind. For me, IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME"


My friend and I had a long talk about everything, just the two of us, today at Mr. Donuts, just across our school. I needed the break, for graduation practices in my schools are hellish. Trust me. Maybe I needed a date too, and she was there to eat donuts and savor some great hot chocolate with me on a Friday afternoon. :D

She was reading my diary entries, but it didn't quite matter because she already knew who I loved without trying to decipher my words. She already memorized the little crushes and the big loves of my life. Not a day goes by without her teasing! That, however, did not stop her from reading my diary.

My heart was breaking ever so subtly but surely as we talked about our first loves.

He was there on that cold day, waiting for the competition to start. And like a warm ray of light, he melted my heart of cold, hardened ice. I fell in love with a guy who was hot, kind, fun, perfect!  Or di I think he was perfect because I loved him? We had a connection. He was funny and sweet, and I had a wonderful feeling when some kids went past us and said we looked good together. He was the first one to give me butterflies in the stomach. I didn't know the feeling of having those butterflies before I met him. WE had a show, and I had to dance in it. I didn't like to dance..especially in front of a huge crowd, but he texted me that night to not worry. He would be there, and he'd look for me. He told me that I shouldn't be nervous because I can do it. Oh I wanted to tell him so much that HE was the reason I was nervous.

My heart was in such an unbelievable ecstasy when we danced, his body next to mine. That evening was our date. Our first and last. AS he held my hands, my favorite song played. "You have stolen my heart." I never believed in destiny... until I met him. I believed we were meant to be together... but perhaps now, he no longer thinks that way.

I loved him so much that when I pulled my bags to the bus that would take us to the Manila airport, I felt that the bags were just so heavy. Too heavy for me to carry. Which was really heavier? My luggage or my heart? TO know that those few days would be the first and last time I could be with the man I fell in love with at first sight, was my very first heartbreak. I then knew that I had a heart, because at that moment, it was screaming in pain. Oh I loved him so much. So very much.

WE didn't work out. HE broke my heart. We lost our connection due to the distance. All it would be was a picture perfect bunch of memories that I would always hold on to. I would NEVER want to forget.

I'd rather HURT than feel nothing at all.

A rose, though pressed between the leaves of a diary for preservation, is still a rose. Love unrequited is still love.