What If?

This is my friend :) 

I'm a girl from the Philippines. And though I've always been friendly, I still have my reservations about making online friends from other corners of the world. It sounds risky to have those kind of friends, that's true. Another reason is that, I've got great friends who are not at all that far away from me--I didn't think I needed to make a friend who's an expensive flight away.  But mostly, the reason why I stay away from making such connections is because some people are just too freaky. Try Omegle.com and you'll know exactly what I mean. XD

He invited me to chat with him in Yahoo, and I was rather disinterested. I thought he'd be one of those people I'd just talk to politely for a short while and I'd quickly try to get away from as subtly as possible. Hmm, I know we probably won't meet, but even when we don't see each other physically, I think I should maintain a modicum of respect. So I thought he’d be one of those I’d respectfully reject.

I’d be online, and he’d beg me to talk to him, and I would, but I’d only say a few lines, and tell him I’m gonna go off to bed. It’s either that or I have to study. He’d wait up for me, and I wouldn’t talk that much to him. I thought he just wasn’t interesting.

I was wrong.

It came to a time when we talked. It came to the point when we chatted profusely. Yes, somehow, we became friends. I say that simply--without any other attachments to the word . He started out as just a Facebook friend. Well, I didn't mind the friend request much. Maybe you could call him a foreign friend. But really, when it comes down to the heart of it all, he is a friend to me. 

That happened when one early morning, I decided we’d talk and I wasn’t expecting much. We did our introductions. I’ve done that a lot in my life. I’m sure he has too.

He’s 20-something. He grew up in London for his childhood, but he went back to Pakistan to study and work. He works in a company, managing or something. It was a great job, or it sounded great to me but I can’t remember what it was exactly now. Yup, I have the memory of a gold fish.

And as the conversation progressed, he said “I hope you don’t mind, but I do love philosophy and I like talking about that too.”

If we were face to face, I would have probably have done some silly motions, and he would have seen my face brighten up so much from what he just told me.For you see, I loved philosophy and it disappointed me because most guys I knew hardly talked to me about philosophy, about their beliefs on life, love, and you know, those things that really mattered. I guess, after I met him, I didn’t have to complain about that any more. I just felt so at ease talking to him, almost as if we have known each other for years, we’d debate on philosophical issues, and at one time even religion even came up in his goodbye.

“ I don’t really know if there is a God and I don’t say this often, but I hope He keeps you safe.”

And all the while, something in me changed. He turned out to be someone I missed so much whenever I couldn’t keep in touch. He turned out to be the one I’d stay awake for, just for the chance to talk to him. He didn’t even have to be with me, for his presence to linger upon the fringes of my imagination, for his beautiful, crooked smile to have a crooked way of tugging at my heartstrings. I even caught myself smiling out of the blue while walking to class, and I’d try to tuck away the faint expression playing upon my lips for fear of seeming absurd. J

Oh, I was very busy back then, yet he’d always try to reach me, send me messages, even set up an Android program to always be online, and to know when I am online too. He’d ask me how I was doing; he’d wonder if I was happy, and we’d see each other occasionally thanks to the web cam which I hardly use for anyone else. He’d tell me I was beautiful, when I felt insecure as hell, and why I wouldn’t be when he looked so beautiful to me?

He’d ask about what I’ve been busy with, and when he found out about my upcoming birthday, he told me he would have loved spending the whole day eyeing every smile on my face and that all his wishes are with me.

“What do you want for your birthday?”

“Nothing”, I replied, with an accompanying smiley which I hoped could convey just a bit of the warmth of the smile that always creeped up when we talked.

“Nothing is a word too short, don't you think?”

I repeated more firmly that I didn’t need a gift from him. And really, if my parents saw a package for me coming from Pakistan, it would be the understatement of the year to tell you they’d freak out.

I’d ask him how he was. He gets busy from his job, does his groceries, goes with his friends. Normal guy stuff J But he wasn’t just all normal. He contributed a lot, and involved himself in this program to help the conditions of women and children in his community. Not all guys do that. Seeing pictures of him speaking in front of them was just inexplicably great. Yup, I have a thing for good guys. And he wasn’t just good. He was sweet, and not at all in a sickening way. He was eloquent, so much so that he’d make me feel like I was his Juliet and he was my Romeo, and while he was spouting sonnets, I would struggle with my lines! So unbelievably good with words—that really, if he had a blog, I’d subscribe to every post, and hang on every word. It’s unfortunate that some of our conversations got deleted. I tell you, if he’d have a blog, seriously, I would wonder why on earth you would even bother reading mine!  XD He’s incredibly wise, and funny too! J

Most of all, he was open. So much so that I couldn’t help but be open as well to what we both felt.

He had feelings for me. I had feelings for him. I acknowledged that. He did too.

I wish I could’ve elaborated on this part using his own words, but I’m no longer able to.

There was the time when he got selected by his company to attend a conference in Thailand, and he wished to make a detour to the Philippines to meet me.

“You really don’t have to go to that extent. J” , I said.

“Meeting you is "that extent"?”

“The way I see it—yes.”

“Nah. Meeting you is not any extent.

It’s simply a meeting between us

It would be really nice to see you.

In fact that was the only charm there for me.

Other than that I have already visited Thailand a couple of times”

Maybe this post would have been more exciting if I said yes.

Maybe it would have been nice to not just see his “I’ve missed you, dear”. Maybe I could have heard it from his lips. Maybe those same lips would then form a smile more lovely than that in the picture.

But I’m writing not to discuss the “maybe’s” of our story. I’m writing to tell you about the “What if’s” of life.

Perhaps one day, it’ll be your turn to meet a stranger.

You’d probably wonder “What if  he’s exactly like those freaky people from Omegle?”

But consider this too. What if he’s actually the only person in the whole world who is your perfect match?


What if the “ soul mate” you’ve always been dreaming of is also dreaming of being with you— but he’s on the other side of the planet?  
What then? 
What if? :)